Body Safety Conversation Guide

• Use the correct anatomical names for body parts from the start — this is protective, not embarrassing

• Keep your tone calm and matter-of-fact, like discussing road safety

• Revisit these conversations regularly — not just once

• Never force affection (hugs, kisses) — let your child choose

• Make it clear that telling a trusted adult is never "telling tales"

Teach correct names: "This is your penis/vulva. These are your private parts."

Explain privacy: "Your private parts are the ones covered by your swimsuit. They belong to you."

Introduce consent: "We always ask before we hug someone. You can say no to a hug, and that is okay."

Start the "no secrets" rule: "In our family, we don't keep secrets from Mummy and Daddy. Surprises are okay (like a birthday present), but secrets are not."

Body autonomy: If a relative wants a hug goodbye, say: "Would you like to give Grandma a hug, a wave, or a high five?" Let them choose.

Safe vs unsafe touch: "A safe touch is a hug from someone you trust that makes you feel good. An unsafe touch is when someone touches your private parts, or any touch that makes you feel scared, confused, or uncomfortable."

The NSPCC PANTS rule:

P — Privates are private

A — Always remember your body belongs to you

N — No means no

T — Talk about secrets that upset you

S — Speak up, someone can help

Trusted adults: Help your child name 5 trusted adults they could tell if something happened. "Who are your 5 safe grown-ups?"

Doctors and examinations: "Sometimes a doctor needs to look at your body to keep you healthy, but Mummy or Daddy will always be there, and the doctor will explain what they are doing."

Recognising grooming: "Sometimes a person might give you extra attention, presents, or treats and then ask you to keep a secret. That is not okay. A safe adult never asks a child to keep secrets from their parents."

Online body safety: "Nobody should ever ask you to send a photo of your body, or show you photos of theirs. If this happens, it is not your fault — tell me straight away."

Peer pressure: "If a friend dares you to show your body or look at something that makes you uncomfortable, it is always okay to say no. A real friend respects that."

Reinforce the message: "No matter what happens, you can always tell me. You will never be in trouble for telling me something."

Consent in relationships: "Consent means both people freely agree. It can be taken back at any time. Silence or not saying no is not consent."

Image sharing: "Never send intimate images of yourself to anyone. Once sent, you lose control of that image forever. If someone asks you to, that person is not respecting you."

If something has already happened: "If someone has already touched you, shown you something, or made you do something that felt wrong — even if it was a long time ago — it is never too late to tell me. I will believe you, and I will help you."

Helplines: "If you ever feel you cannot talk to me, you can call Childline on 0800 1111. It is free, private, and available 24 hours."

• Sudden reluctance to be alone with a particular person

• Age-inappropriate sexual knowledge or behaviour

• Regression (bed-wetting, clinginess in an older child)

• Unexplained changes in mood, sleep, or appetite

• Drawings or play with sexual themes

• Reluctance to undress for bath or PE

• Saying things like "I have a secret" or "promise not to tell"