My Child Is Threatening Self-Harm or Sharing Self-Harm Content Online
Your child has posted self-harm content on social media, is viewing self-harm material, or has messaged someone about wanting to hurt themselves.
Discovering that your child is engaging with self-harm content online can be deeply frightening. Your instinct may be to panic or immediately remove their devices, but staying calm is essential. Children who share or view this content are often in emotional pain and need to feel safe talking to you. Your measured response right now can be a turning point for them.
What to do now
Assess Immediate Safety
If your child is in immediate physical danger or has already harmed themselves, call 999 without hesitation. If they are safe but distressed, sit with them calmly and let them know you are there.
✗ Do not: Do not leave your child alone if you believe they may be at immediate risk of harming themselves.
Talk Gently and Listen
Tell your child you have seen the content and that you are not angry — you are worried because you love them. Ask open questions such as 'Can you help me understand how you've been feeling?' and listen without interrupting.
Do Not Remove Devices Immediately
Resist the urge to confiscate phones or tablets straight away. For some children, online communities are their only perceived support. Removing access abruptly can increase distress. Focus first on connection and safety.
Contact a Crisis Helpline Together
If your child is willing, contact a helpline together. Samaritans (116 123), Childline (0800 1111), or Papyrus HOPELINEUK (0800 068 4141) can provide immediate support and guidance for both of you.
Make a Safety Plan
Work with your child and, if appropriate, a professional to create a simple safety plan. This includes who to call when they feel overwhelmed, activities that help them feel calmer, and agreeing to tell a trusted adult if they feel the urge to self-harm.
What not to do
- ✗Do not react with anger, shock, or blame — this will make your child less likely to open up.
- ✗Do not force your child to show you all of their online activity in the moment — this feels invasive when they are vulnerable.
- ✗Do not dismiss their feelings or say things like 'you have nothing to be upset about'.
- ✗Do not share what has happened with extended family or friends without your child's permission.
Preserving evidence
Why this matters
If you need to report to authorities or a platform, evidence can help.
- •If your child has received messages encouraging self-harm from another person, screenshot these including the sender's username, date, and time.
- •Note the platforms involved and any group names or hashtags. You may need these details if you report to the platform or police.
- •If the content is still visible, report it directly to the platform using their self-harm/suicide reporting tools before it spreads further.
How to talk to your child
- ✓Use phrases like 'I'm here for you no matter what' and 'You don't have to go through this alone'. Avoid language that sounds like a lecture.
- ✓Let your child set the pace of the conversation. They may not want to talk straight away, and that is okay — just let them know the door is open.
- ✓Follow up gently over the coming days and weeks. Recovery is not a single conversation; it is an ongoing process of rebuilding trust and connection.
Who to contact
Samaritans
If your child or you need to talk to someone urgently about feelings of distress or self-harm
24/7, 365 days a year — free from any phone
Childline
For children and young people to talk confidentially about anything worrying them
24/7, 365 days a year
Papyrus HOPELINEUK
Specialist support for young people under 35 who are having thoughts of suicide or self-harm
9am–midnight every day, also available by text (07860 039967)
NSPCC Helpline
If you are worried about a child's safety or wellbeing
24/7, 365 days a year
This guidance is for informational purposes. It is not a substitute for emergency services or professional safeguarding support. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999 (UK) or 911 (US) now.
Frequently Asked Questions
Related Resources
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Quick Reference — My Child Is Threatening Self-Harm or Sharing Self-Harm Content Online
My Child Is Threatening Self-Harm or Sharing Self-Harm Content Online — Quick Reference
Safe Child Guide — safechildguide.com
Do this:
- 1. If your child is in immediate physical danger or has already harmed themselves, call 999 without hesitation. If they are safe but distressed, sit with them calmly and let them know you are there.
- 2. Tell your child you have seen the content and that you are not angry — you are worried because you love them. Ask open questions such as 'Can you help me understand how you've been feeling?' and listen without interrupting.
- 3. Resist the urge to confiscate phones or tablets straight away. For some children, online communities are their only perceived support. Removing access abruptly can increase distress. Focus first on connection and safety.
- 4. If your child is willing, contact a helpline together. Samaritans (116 123), Childline (0800 1111), or Papyrus HOPELINEUK (0800 068 4141) can provide immediate support and guidance for both of you.
- 5. Work with your child and, if appropriate, a professional to create a simple safety plan. This includes who to call when they feel overwhelmed, activities that help them feel calmer, and agreeing to tell a trusted adult if they feel the urge to self-harm.
Do NOT do this:
- ✗ Do not react with anger, shock, or blame — this will make your child less likely to open up.
- ✗ Do not force your child to show you all of their online activity in the moment — this feels invasive when they are vulnerable.
- ✗ Do not dismiss their feelings or say things like 'you have nothing to be upset about'.
- ✗ Do not share what has happened with extended family or friends without your child's permission.
Stay calm. You are doing the right thing by looking for help. Your child needs your support, not your panic.
Last reviewed: 2026-03-30