Stranger Messages: What to Do When Someone Unknown Gets in Touch
A conversation script to help children recognise and respond safely to unsolicited messages from strangers online.
Children are naturally curious and often flattered by attention from others online. This conversation helps them understand that not everyone is who they claim to be, and equips them with simple rules for handling unexpected contact from strangers.
When to have this conversation
Before your child starts using any platform with messaging features — and again whenever they join a new app or game with chat functionality.
Before you start
- • Think of a real-life analogy your child will understand, such as not opening the front door to someone you do not know.
- • Check your child's apps for direct messaging features you may not be aware of.
- • Stay calm and non-judgmental — if your child has already responded to a stranger, focus on helping rather than punishing.
Conversation by age group
"I want to talk to you about what to do if someone you do not know sends you a message online."
parent
"If someone you do not know in real life sends you a message, what do you think you should do?"
child
"Ignore it?"
parent
"Exactly right. Do not reply, do not click any links, and come and show me. Even if they seem friendly, we cannot know who they really are."
parent
"Sometimes people pretend to be children when they are actually adults. That is why we never share personal information or agree to meet someone we have only met online."
Keep this factual rather than frightening.
Tips for this age
- • Help them practise saying 'I need to check with my parent' as a reflex response.
- • Disable direct messaging from strangers on all platforms where possible.
"Have you ever had someone you do not know try to message you online? Let's chat about it."
parent
"As you use more apps, you might get messages from people you do not recognise. Most of the time it is harmless spam, but sometimes people have bad intentions. How would you handle it?"
child
"I would just block them probably."
parent
"That is a great instinct. Block and report. And if someone is being persistent, flattering, or asking personal questions — that is a warning sign. Screenshot it and show me."
parent
"The key thing is: you will never be in trouble for telling me about this. Even if you replied before realising something was wrong, I would rather know so we can sort it out together."
Tips for this age
- • Teach them to screenshot suspicious messages before blocking, as evidence may be needed.
- • Explain the concept of grooming in age-appropriate terms so they can recognise escalating patterns.
Follow-up actions
- → Review privacy settings on all your child's apps to restrict contact from unknown accounts.
- → Bookmark the CEOP reporting page together so your child knows how to report serious concerns.
Related safety topics
This is practical educational content to support families. For case-specific concerns about a child's safety, contact the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000 or your local safeguarding team.