Facebook Messenger Safety Guide for Parents
How to set up Facebook Messenger safely for your child, including privacy controls and Messenger Kids as an alternative.
Official age
13+
We recommend
13+
Developer
Meta Platforms
Risks
4
Overview
Facebook Messenger is Meta's messaging platform, offering text, voice, and video communication. It is closely integrated with Facebook and Instagram. For children under 13, Meta offers Messenger Kids, a parent-controlled alternative with no ads and a supervised contact list. The standard app has limited parental controls.
How children use it
Teenagers use Messenger primarily for text and video chat with friends and family, group conversations, and sharing photos and links. Many use it because their parents are on Facebook and it provides a convenient family communication tool. Group chats for school projects and social groups are common.
Main risks
Recommended privacy settings
Message Delivery
Location: Settings → Privacy & Safety → Message Delivery
Set to: Only Facebook friends can message directly
Controls who can send messages directly versus who gets filtered into message requests. Restrict to friends only.
Active Status
Location: Settings → Active Status
Set to: Off
Hides whether your child is currently online, reducing social pressure to respond immediately.
Story Privacy
Location: Settings → Story Privacy
Set to: Friends Only
Limits who can see Messenger Stories your child posts, keeping them within their known circle.
Parent actions
For under-13s, use Messenger Kids instead of the standard app and maintain full control over the contact list
Time: 15 minutes
Restrict message delivery to Facebook friends only and review your child's friend list to ensure everyone is known to them
Time: 10 minutes
Explain the risks of clicking links or accepting video calls from unfamiliar contacts
Time: 10 minutes