A parent's guide to Discord servers, voice channels, and direct messaging — and how to keep your child safe on the platform.
Discord is a chat platform of text, voice and video 'servers' built around gaming and interest communities, popular with teenagers and young adults.
Official age
13+
We recommend
15+
Developer
Discord Inc.
Risks
4
Discord is a communication platform originally built for gamers but now used by all sorts of communities. It offers text messaging, voice chat, video calls, and screen sharing within user-created 'servers'. The platform is extremely popular with teenagers, particularly those involved in gaming, and content moderation varies significantly between servers.
Children use Discord primarily to chat with friends whilst gaming, joining voice channels to talk in real time during play. Many also join public servers based around interests such as games, anime, or music. Direct messages allow private one-to-one or small group conversations outside of servers.
Explicit Content Filter
Location: User Settings → Privacy & Safety → Safe Direct Messaging
Set to: Keep me safe (scan all direct messages)
Automatically scans and blocks direct messages containing explicit images. Essential for protecting against unsolicited inappropriate content.
Who Can Send Friend Requests
Location: User Settings → Privacy & Safety → Who Can Send You a Friend Request
Set to: Friends of Friends only (disable Everyone and Server Members)
Limits who can add your child as a friend, reducing the chance of contact from complete strangers.
Direct Messages from Server Members
Location: User Settings → Privacy & Safety → Allow Direct Messages from Server Members
Set to: Off
Prevents other members of shared servers from sending unsolicited private messages to your child.
Enable the explicit content filter and restrict friend requests before your child starts using Discord
Time: 5 minutes
Discuss which servers your child has joined and explain the risks of public servers with unknown members
Time: 15 minutes
Encourage your child to only use Discord with real-life friends in private servers where members are known
Time: 10 minutes
In immediate danger: call 999. For non-emergency police matters, call 101.
Concerned about a child but it's not an emergency? NSPCC helpline 0808 800 5000. Childline for young people 0800 1111.
Myth: Discord is just for gamers chatting.
Fact: Discord hosts public servers on every topic where children can meet strangers, and DMs and voice channels are common grooming vectors. It needs Family Centre, safe DM filtering, and a review of which servers they are in.
Myth: Servers are private and invite-only.
Fact: Many servers are large, public, and unmoderated, and children can be invited into them easily. Check which servers your child has joined and restrict who can DM and friend them.
Myth: Voice chat is safer than messaging because nothing is written down.
Fact: The absence of a record is precisely why some adults steer children from public channels into private voice calls — there's nothing to screenshot and little to show a parent or moderator afterwards. Treat an invitation to 'hop into a call' from someone they only know online as a moment to check in, and make clear they can tell you about a conversation even without proof.
Discord's minimum age is 13, so this age group shouldn't be on it — even if a favourite game's community lives there. If they need to talk while gaming, console party chat with real-life friends does the job with far less exposure.
At 13, set the account up together: turn on the safest direct-message filtering, limit friend requests, link Family Centre, and go through every server they join in the first few months. Agree that big public servers are joined with you, not quietly.
Ask periodically which servers they're active in and who moderates them, and talk about the pattern of being moved from a public server into DMs or a private one. Free Nitro links and giveaway DMs are almost always scams — worth saying before one arrives.
The conversation now is about communities rather than settings: private servers can normalise extreme views, gambling-style schemes or pile-ons long before anyone reports them. Keep the door open for a 'this server has gone weird' conversation without judgement.
Full conversation guides: gaming safety talk, stranger messages talk
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